Biblical Schlocker?

(Above: ‘Absolute Vow.’ Source: YouTube screenshot)

What if Cecil B. DeMille and Russ Meyer had mind-melded on a biblical epic?

Absolute Vow might have been the result.

Directed by the self-proclaimed “Sultan of Sensationalism,” Jared Masters, Absolute Vow is described as a “bloody Bible Epic” that occurs “1,000 years before Christ, in an age where pagans ran rampant.”

Said to be based on the Old Testament story of Jephthah’s daughter, Absolute Vow explores a time in which “(i)ncest and child sacrifices were common place… (F)alse gods … consumed the minds of many wicked men, (that is) until the shocking story of a virgin … without a name, made its way into the Holly (sic) cannon.”

The cast includes Parker Love Bowling as the virgin without a name, Kansas Bowling as Bithiah, Rodney Bingenheimer as the wanderer, Lloyd Kaufman as the magician, Aki Aleong as the prophet and comedian Andy Dick’s daughter, Meg Dick, as Kezia.

The producers promise a “shocking cinematic experience …  shot on glorious 16mm film.”

Behold! The movie trailer!

Intrigued?

You can watch Absolute Vow for free with an Amazon Prime membership, or rent for $1.99 from Amazon.

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About Larry Greenberg

A former local beat reporter and film critic, co-founder Lawrence Greenberg has more than 25 years’ experience as a writer and public relations executive.

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